There’s a big black spider hanging over my door; can’t go anywhere, anymore…” Joanna Newsom, Have One On Me
I won’t be posting a paid post today, or charging your payment methods. The letter that you should have received by now (paid end of December) only just went out a few days ago. The one I should be sending in a week’s time is just being made.
I guess I needed a break, but wouldn’t accept that I needed a break. So I broke, instead. Despite being a die-hard cat person, I became someone whose only pet was a big silent black dog…that nobody else could see.
Depression, to me, has always been something that “happens to other people”, and so I didn’t recognise it, when it padded in on heavy furred feet, and took up residence in my soul.
Luckily, I like to face these things head-on. Kris was a huge help, bearing the brunt of my crazy 3am sobbing sessions, and not pushing me to get out of bed or off the boat when I just couldn’t.
I’m annoyed that it has messed up my schedule, but these things have to be acknowledged, and given room to run.
I believe I am out of the woods. The thing has run itself out of energy, anyway.
But there will have been no letter in January, and the one you’ll be receiving in February is a month overdue. We resume our regularly scheduled program of The Scarlet Letterbox with a paid post at the end of February.
Thank you for understanding.
You matter. YOU MATTER. I repeat myself simply because words sometimes are hard to hear, hard to listen to. But they are also our currency of connectedness and thus are critical to our health. I’ll look forward to the February letter happily… and others to follow, but all secondary to your well being. Yeah, I know that beast too. Be well
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I totally get it. Take care of you. The rest will follow in time.
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I don’t know you personally, but I wish to say: take care, be nice to yourself……
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What the others said…. sending you love and healing. We have all been there, or live with someone who has. Hugs.
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Nat, all of us have this at times, melancholia, and worse. I send clouds, suns, and hurricanes to cover up, shine on, and blow away your sadness. We’ll see you when all that weather clears away the dank black continent with hovering thunders that stand in the way of your clear shining seas. Courage!
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Thanks, Jen, am okay now, i feel reasonably sure. January was my hound of the Baskervilles, however. Chin up and forward now…the monsoons have come and the rains have started to wash the bad dreams away. Cooler, fresher, pain-reduced February trots in on little piggy feet.😊 The Year of The Pig 🐷 falls on my birthday. I am, however, a 🐯
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Nat, I hope you’re okay now, and I hope you know that you are loved so, so much, and by so many people. Sending you good thoughts, love, and hugs across the oceans. Hang in there, my friend. I love you.
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I think so. What about you? Been thinking about you! So quiet on your end, and i know you struggle too, with more tangible terrors.
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I’m doing okay. Still struggling, and waiting for news from the courts, but doing my best to keep my chin up as well. 🙂 Staying away from FB is helping for me, though I do need to stop in and check my messages every once in a while. Also helps to remember that are lovely friends out there like you, and beautiful art like yours. Tight hugs, mi amor. Love you!
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