life, paints and pens, philosophy, stuff i've made

Now, now…

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FIg Bird

Still just playing thoughtlessly with the painting tools on my desk, not planning or caring what comes of it all, in the end, but enjoying what does eventually come through.

Every canvas starts with an odd shape of paint—like an asymmetrical Rorschach—and often I scrawl the words Now Now across everything, making each letter as curly and elaborate and frou-frou as I can. A gentle reminder to stay focused, to stay present, because I’ve only just started and it is so difficult to stay here continuously!

Here are two funny little characters I met as they were passing through the moment. Nothing profound, here, nothing to become attached to or explain…just something that happened for a while, paintbrush in hand, and that has already passed, leaving meaningless little marks behind, like ripples on a sand dune. Maybe you will say they’re nice marks, maybe not…the great thing is that I don’t care, here they are, I am already doing something else, now.

Now I’m just writing to say hello to everyone (see me here, waving energetically from the bedroom window of our gently bobbing boat?) and squeeze your hand. (Yes, my fingers are cold, there’s a gusty winter wind blowing over the harbor from the deserts in the South, and I can’t feel my fingertips!) Now I want to go back to my game of paints and brushes. See you when I see you!

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life, paints and pens, philosophy, stuff i've made

day at the cloud factory…

cloud factory

I sustained a delightful couple of hours of mindlessness, yesterday, and had a bit of a play with paints and brushes.

The end result isn’t very profound or meaningful, but the process was pretty special.

It was one of those rare moments when I managed to turn off the endless chatter of thoughts in my head—the critic, the sycophant, the worrier, the unhappy rationalist, the self-conscious amateur, the eager-to-please child, the pretentious dilettante—and slip through the little magical door of Now, into simply Being…simply Doing, firmly occupying the present moment and having the present moment occupy me: focused on nothing but the dabbing of paint on canvas, the playful building-up of lines and shapes, the aroma of the coffee, the sounds of the wind and water around the boat.

I felt a deep peace and calm as I worked, not caring what the outcome would be, not caring if turned out well or not, or whether anybody liked it (myself, included), not letting myself grow attached to any part of it. Just accepting the moment for what it was.

“More moments like this, please,” I urge my soul…when there isn’t a single additional thing that’s missing, that I want or need, to feel my life and existence to be absolute joy, perfect in every way…perfect just as it is.

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