Darwin, Australia, paints and pens

My first life drawing session!

life drawing session 1

My first time at a life drawing class. The model was a petite German lady called Bianka, an experienced artist’s model and a sunny, well-travelled, intelligent pixie. Of course it doesn’t matter how petite and trim a model is, when I draw a woman, she puts on 15 kilos just because, well, that’s how I feel about the pose. I am drawing on what I know, and the drawing is not Bianka, nor is it me, but a hybrid third of all those involved. Heh.

Worked with soft and hard chalks. Some pencil for the last drawings, because I was getting tired and knew that my “zone” moment had passed (but I was thrilled that, at some point, I found myself ‘in the zone’, if only for a brief 20 minutes or so) There are some tiny areas in these drawings that I’m happy with…I’m talking about a few inches here or there. On the whole, though, these are learning drawings, and of no value in themselves.

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I threw most of the drawings away when I got home (and one of the better ones was picked up by the wind and whisked into the water…can’t even remember what it looked like, really, I never got a good look at it.) Only kept a few for these photographs, but will probably end up throwing all (but one) away, after I post this. It’s a tactic to keep me attending the drawing sessions: don’t get precious, don’t ‘collect’, don’t get smug, don’t keep anything…it’s the doing that has value, the finished drawings are nothing.

life drawing session 1

I am so happy I worked up the nerve to go. It was absolutely worth it. The thing I loved the most? The connection, immediate and visceral, that I felt because mind and cleverness were not involved. None of that “start by drawing an egg shape for the head” bullshit. Bianka=eye=heart=hand=drawing. Simple and powerful. There is sooo much work to be done. I hope I can keep the sessions up…to get good at anything, you have to be ready to commit to years of practice.

The Darwin Life Drawing sessions are presented by Shilo McNamee, with the support of the Darwin Visual Arts Association (DVAA). They are held Sunday mornings (check the website or their facebook page to be sure, though, and to tell Shilo you’re coming) at the Winnellie Art Space, 96-a Winnellie Road (next to the large Darwin Bakery/factory)

life drawing session 1

life drawing session 1
life drawing session 1

life drawing session 1

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embroidery and textiles, made with paper

Tea with Lady Lavender

tea

Hello, sorry It’s been so quiet on here. I’ve been quite busy making stuff…just didn’t remember to take pictures of anything I was doing, hence nothing to show you or blog about.

Yesterday I started working on a series of mixed media journal covers because I visited my own ETSY shop a few weeks ago, and things were looking very, very lonely and neglected. I am trying to get back into bookbinding now, because I have a dozen or so text blocks of beautiful paper all bound and ready for covers. The covers are always the hardest part (but also the most fun) because I don’t like to repeat myself, and I tend to get stuck for a long time, fiddling with tiny details on every single one.

The subject of this batch of journal covers is tea time; this one’s predominantly lavender. The base is painted artist’s canvas. I’ve used various papers—tea stained pages for the tea cup, and my own marbled paper for the tea, some gift tissue—and bits of fabric. Machine as well as hand stitching. Acrylic paints (and some dimensional glitter paint), acrylic inks, and some shading with colored pencils.

tea

tea

What have you been tinkering with lately?

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embroidery and textiles, stuff i've made, What If Diaries

Hopscotch

If you’ve been following along for a while I think you’ll notice the way I jump from doing one thing to another. For a spell I might be obsessed with embroidery, and everything I post about will be related to that. Then I’ll get into bookbinding, and embroidery will sort of fall by the wayside. Lately I’ve been into drawing and painting, to the exclusion of everything else. To someone following this blog (and who probably subscribed because he/she really enjoyed seeing just that one dimension of creative expression I happened to be working on at the time) this hopscotching back and forth probably seems really capricious , undependable, and erratic…a kind of craziness.

The funny thing about this is that, for me, there is almost no difference between painting, stitching, sewing clothes, or binding pages together. For one thing, the principles you absorb by doing one craft or art form are carried over into all your making. The mind is not a hard drive and can’t be partitioned so definitely. Hands practiced at one form of work will take what they know—that sensitivity, that intuition—and apply it to the next task.

A line is a line is a line…you seek variety and expressiveness when you make a line, be it in ink or thread. In all practices a line can be a dot that went for a walk; it can be an arrow that shows the way, or a guide that leads the eye; it can be a road, or a boundary, an edge, a bridge across an abyss, an umbilical cord, a ball of thread that will take you into the labyrinth, and then lead you back out again.

Layers can be pages, can be leaves, wings, curtains, veils. They can speak about concealment and revelation, can talk about light and shadow, about translucency, about juxtaposition, about sequence, story, the what-happened-next, what-lies-behind-the-next-hill, and who is the monster a the end of this book? Ultimately, all are statements about the passage of time.

Ideas about form, space, edges, progression, texture, the what-ness of the material, its intrinsic qualities, its limitations and how to push the material beyond those limitations, are all part of some greater, all-encompassing journey to expression of Being…to integrity, or maybe even some kind of Truth.

whites and not-so-whites

Jude Hill’s What If Diaries approach to making is a key that unlocks the door to a thousand doors. It’s a marvelous question, hanging there in the space around your work table when you are trying to push your own boundaries, trying to give birth to monsters or gods. Just by reading her own posts, where she asks “What if…?” over and over, like a mantra, you absorb the habit of asking the same thing of yourself.
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When you finally stop trying to imitate Jude’s work (a natural compulsion, but you won’t get anything of your own out of it…Jude asks “What if?” and dives off a cliff, and you just follow along hanging on to her coat tails?) and really start to ask your own What Ifs, magic happens. Things come into being. And they are yours. Rough, maybe, or too plain, but the making gives delight, and the thing made is something new (to you, anyway). And from there you see other doors…directions, a fork in the path. I could go this way with it…or I could go that…

Holding firmly onto the end, toss imagination’s ball of string out in front of you, and let it unroll down the path, around the bend, and out of sight. Now reel yourself in.

I stopped making lists and thinking about things, yesterday, and decided to do something physical. Scoured the boat for whatever white-ish fabrics I had (for the Whispering Whites part of the Diaries) and found 10 meters of white cotton gauze (I was going to make a mosquito net, once upon a time), a few bits and pieces of lace, crochet, and damask, some brand new ladies handkerchiefs, those stained white bedsheets I dug out of some hotel’s rubbish, and some great triangular cotton bandages from an Army First Aid kit.

I decided:

To heck with looking for fabrics that carry memories for me, those colonial drawn thread and fillet lace gowns or rotting church veils, some bride’s trousseau or the doilies my grandmother made…I don’t want to build an altar to the past. I want to work with my head and heart firmly planted in the present, and push out from here. Synthetic organza? Poly-linen? Fusible web and spray-on adhesive? Wire to give structure and form? Acetate for strength that lets light through? Sure, why not, if these are what I have and know how to use? I firmly believe that if women of the 19th century had access to these things, they would have made no bones about using them, too. They were practical women.

Also, as with everything else that I do, I will dance my wild hopscotch between painting, paper craft, printmaking, sewing, embroidery, and anything else I care to add into the mix. Because I am not partitioned. :)

What if the thing I love the most about white fabric is the way that light glows through and around the fabric, and shadows or silhouettes of varying intensities are the counterpoint to that luminosity? What if white could become a vessel for light? What if I worked with the idea of vessels and three-dimensional space, rather than stick to the flat Nine Patch?

The Nine Patch squared?

The Nine Patch cubed?

*eyes wide* OHHH………

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Origami balloon, made from a single square cotton handkerchief, four seams, and some tiny, tiny stitches to keep it from opening up.

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There it goes! My ball of string, jouncing along down a hillside and out of sight. I’m off after it. See you later!

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classes + workshops, embroidery and textiles, What If Diaries

Whispering White

cuello bordado
In the What-If Diaries, we have started with white. Thinking about white…its associations, its significances, its definitions. Words started to multiply in the forums: snow, angels, virgins, brides, sunlight, linen, home, moon, stars…

I wrote down some of the things that I think of when I think about white, and found it rather telling that, for me, anyway, white is not such a light or gentle thing. Could not relate to snow or anything frozen or cold. Thought of things like angels or glowing brides with a vague distaste. Realized that, in the tropical Philippines, white (fabric, anyway) was completely unnatural. White was introduced from somewhere else. Our own fabrics were earthy and strong-colored. It was the Spanish, coming along in the 1400s and colonizing, then Christianizing us, and turning the islands into a trading and military outpost  for their empire, who insisted on white clothing and white linens, who wore white because it was cooler in the tropical heat.

So, for me, white is the color of colonial history, of Catholicism and the Church. I think of bleaching. I think of erasure. It’s hints at occupation, oppression, an elite ruling class comprised of uncomfortable, over-dressed foreigners, gasping like pale fish in the liquid air of the tropics.

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Looking at white in other ways, too…taking my cue from Jude Hill. White as translucence or transparency. As negative space. As absence. As the opposite of shadows and darkness. And yet, without one, there is no other…Daemon est Deus inversus.

Jude Hill asks, “What if light could be created by dark?” And vice-versa, I’m thinking.

shadow of lace

I took photographs of this embroidered head-covering. My mother made this, when she was a girl. She wore it to church, in the days when all the women covered their heads before entering a church, and the priest stood with his back to the congregation, talking intimately to God in Latin.

I’m not ready to cut it up for any fabric workshop, yet, but I let it inspire ideas. The embroidery on the veil used to be white, but when I was small I kept stealing this veil from her dressing room drawer, and she kept taking it back. Finally I took it with me up a mango tree, and tucked it away “safely” in a hollow in the tree trunk. Then forgot about it. It sat in leaf mould and beetles through a whole rainy season, balled up in that tree’s cavity. When I found it again, the white had yellowed. Distressed fabric. Distressed mother, too. She finally gave it to me just a few years ago.

shadow

Against the sun, the veil casts a shadow that is its opposite…the black net lets light through, the white embroidery blocks the lights, casts the darker shadow. Transparent darkness and opaque whiteness.

No projects gelling yet. Just a random eruption of little ideas…a flurry of fireworks, stars and bokeh when I close my eyes and look through the skin of my eyelids. I’m finding white difficult and prissy to approach.

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I don’t own very much meaningful white fabric at all. We didn’t use white fabric at home for linens or curtains or anything like that…and I am not sentimental enough to drag away all my mother’s old fabric, even if we had. Leave the past where it is, I say, it’s just an encumbrance, something we carry around with us to make the ego feel more substantial, to give it more of a story to tell.

SenoritaCionSoft

What can I use for this workshop? Back to the idea of trying to please our colonizers (who thought we were dirty, because we were dark) by whitening everything—fabric, skin. Today, many Filipinas still buy products with “skin whiteners”, and hide under umbrellas from the sun. And bathe three times a day—maybe because they hear that voice in their heads that tells them their skin is brown because it’s thick with dirt? Wash, wash, wash. “Out, damned spot! out, I say!…What, will these hands ne’er be clean?”

Thinking I may force my whites, by bleaching the life out of the colored fabrics that I do have.

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Exhibits, paints and pens, stuff i've made

Dresden Doll : : Don Whyte’s Off-Cuts Show

odi et amo detail

Details of a painting I’m throwing together for Don Whyte’s Off Cuts Show.

“Dresden Doll” (acrylic and retarder on canvas). She’s named after Dresden porcelain, by the way, not the band. Dresden porcelain often featured oriental designs painted in cobalt; one distinguishing feature for collectors these days is that “the cobalt blue mark is always underneath the glaze”. Her entire body was blocked in cobalt blue, covered over in skin tones, and then scratched through to reveal the designs…it’s called s’graffito and I wrote a post about doing it in acrylics, here.

odi et amo detail

Her tats are rather pale, but it’s too late to fix that now without overworking the thing. She’s already pretty heavily worked as it is, which is not a good feeling…so important to try and finish the piece while there is still a connection between yourself and the subject, while it’s all still interesting and challenging. I’m so over this figure by now (even though I only started it yesterday) that I just want to get the damn background—which is a mess—sorted out so I can leave it. I’ve got another two canvases to do for the show, deadline’s the 9th of April.

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Don Whyte’s Off-Cuts Show is up in less than three weeks. Don Whyte is Darwin’s prime framing business, and every year he uses up the small off-cut pieces of canvas stretcher bars from his trade to make a couple hundred small square stretched canvases (average size is one foot, 30 cm., square). Local folks are invited to drop in and grab as many canvases as they think they can finish, turn them in before the deadline, and they all get exhibited and sold on the night of Don’s Off-Cuts Show.

Amazingly, for a venue that isn’t even a gallery, this gathering has become Darwin’s most widely-attended, most dynamic, and most thoroughly-cleaned-out art exhibition. The large room is jam-packed with people on opening night—everyone brings something lovely to eat, the bar is run on donations (because Don hasn’t got a license to sell alcohol)—and there isn’t a single painting left unsold by the end of the evening. Prices range from $40 to $250, the artist can choose to donate the entire painting’s sell price to Don, or split the take according to some sort of percentage. All the money Don gets from the show goes to charity.

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embroidery and textiles, paints and pens, philosophy, stuff i've made

A few more…

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Whatever is happening is the path to enlightenment. —Pema Chödrön

More feathers, because it’s what I happen to be doing at the moment. A path lined with feathers is not a bad path to be on!

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Getting a bit bolder with the color combinations…orange thread over yellow green paint, complementaries, that sort of thing.

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May have over done it with the red-violet feather on emerald green…that one looks a bit muddy. Too many different kinds of thread. Too many colors.

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When the work starts to get slick, polished, ornate, precise, or needlessly intricate, it’s time to step back and empty the mind of what it knows, again: time to dig up the real feather that started all this, and really look at it.

Starting from zero, studying the feather as if for the first time, and proceeding with attention and praise for it as an individual and miraculous thing. Which, of course, it is.

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embroidery and textiles, paints and pens, stuff i've made

The thing with feathers

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“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops – at all -

—excerpt from “Hope” is the thing with feathers - by Emily Dickinson

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It started with single strokes of ink on small squares of watercolor paper…trying different brushes out to see which ones made good feathers in one swoop. Got some nice shapes…lovely puddles of gathering color.

Then: what if I stitch the barbs (using feather stitch, naturally) with thread to form the vane?

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Encouraged by this, I tried the process out on small stretched canvases, adding some shading to the original ink stroke with acrylic paints and a rigger brush. The central calamus and rachis was worked in stem stitch. The thread is a variegated DMC coton a broder.
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Nice, but the feather stitch was hard to keep neat over so wide an area, so eventually I abandoned the feather stitch altogether, and just used straight stitches to work the barbs. Alternated between long and short straight stitches, as well as between coton a broder and a synthetic iridescent thread.
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I first got the idea to embroider on top of painted, stretched canvases when I was 18 or so. Never finished the huge tree of life that I started then, but the idea of over-stitching a painting has been with me a long time. I dug the idea up again in 2009 when I added cross-stitched roses to my oil painting of a 19th century Filipina in traditional dress for my exhibit Encarnación.
I’m very fond of this stitch-and-painting mashup technique, and think I might be using it more often from now on, because it gives a dimension of texture and structure to a painting that I haven’t been able to get from using paint alone.

P.S. The feather paintings/embroideries are for a series that I’m putting into the TactileARTS (The Crafts Council of the Northern Territory) Members’ exhibiton this April. The theme is Birds.

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