life, music + film

songs for mom

In the months before her death, my mother gave us kids the task of tracking down a long list of her favorite songs…songs that reminded her, I suppose, of special times and people in her life.

These are some of the songs she asked me to get…my brothers have other lists. Sa Ugoy Ng Duyan (In the rocking of the cradle) by Lucio San Pedro/Levy Celerio, is the one, she said, that would remind her of me…a lullaby she sang to me, and that I sang back to her when I was a older. The music was played at my parents’ house yesterday, where friends gathered to hold a party around my mother’s urn. One of my friends shared this about her visit to the house:

“16 years hence, i once again find myself up in the quiet, wooded villages of Antipolo , amongst the company of old friends from the art circle, most of whom have chosen to live reclusive lives away from the big city. We were gathered in a private “wake” of the mother of another good friend. It was a wake like no other : the banter light, the atmosphere warm and tender, and talk was eclectic : of diving, art, of wine and food, and of the Antipolo of old. It was an evening which left no moment for sadness, just for loads of laughter and the ocassional teary eye. It was as if Tita Lina was still amongst us, puttering around in her kitchen and serving bottles of wine, Except that now, her cremains were in an urn in the foyer. But even in death, trust her to bring us, friends who rarely see each other, together in a magic circle honoring her memory.”

Awesome. That’s exactly as she would have wanted it, because death is a merciful and wonderful thing worth celebrating, and what miserable creatures we’d be without it.

“We forget that we are all dead men conversing with dead men.” -Jorge Luis Borges

Thanks to everyone who took the time to drop me a line, yesterday. I am fine. I am actually quite light-hearted and relieved that Mom finally passed away.

As some of my friends may know, I have been praying for death to come and take her away from the misery that living had become…blind, unable to walk, her body filling with waste liquids, what little peace she had shattered by painful and long dialysis sessions, sitting alone in the eternal murky twilight of that bedroom both day & night…an existence without meaning or anything to look forward to, it was like she had been buried alive.

True, I was desperate to see her one last time before she died, but when that plan fell through and she passed away, the urgent need to visit the Philippines evaporated with her. I was only going over there to see if she wanted help in dying sooner, which I would have helped her with.

So, there’s really no reason to be sad…we are alive, let’s carry on with living, cram our days full of the people and activities we love, be audacious with our life situation, knowing that when we’re tired and our bodies have failed, death will come to lay a blanket over all that, and make it all better.

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Inspirations, music + film, my friends

Mishka Adams : : Songs from the Deep, The Philippines Tour

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjyJyB2M_fs

Mishka sings a song by Marcelo Andrade, Razao de ser.

How I wish I could be in Manila to hear Mishka unveil her new album! Who  knows, it might still happen… If you’re in the Philippines in February, do try and make it to one of these gigs…the album launch of Songs From The Deep at no less than the iconic 70s Bistro on Anonas would be the most awesome event, of course (Oh my gawd, oh my gawd, it’ll be amaaaazing!), but any gig where Mishka and Ben play live will be a huge party and promises to become a night to remember!

via Miska Adams Music

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Inspirations, music + film

Glacier

via Amanda Palmer

GLACIER

You just want to live your life
The best way you know how
But they keep on telling you
That you are not allowed

They say that you are sick
That you should hang your head in shame
They are pointing fingers
And want you to take the blame

There are days when people are
So nasty and convincing
They say things beyond belief
That sting and leave you wincing
And to boot they say their words
Come straight down from above
And they really seem to think
That what they’re doing counts as love

This pain –
It is a glacier moving through you
And carving out deep valleys
And creating spectacular landscapes
And nourishing the ground
With precious minerals and other stuff
So don’t you become paralyzed with fear
When things seem particularly rough

Don’t you pay them fuckers as they say no never mind
They don’t give two shits about you it’s the blind leading the blind
What they want is commonly referred to as theocracy
And what that boils down to is referred as hypocrisy

Don’t listen to anyone, get answers on your own
Even if it means that sometimes you feel quite alone
No one on this planet can tell you what to believe
People like to talk a lot and they like to deceive

This pain –
It is a glacier moving through you
And carving out deep valleys
And creating spectacular landscapes
And nourishing the ground
With precious minerals and other stuff
So don’t you become paralyzed with fear
When things seem particularly rough

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“There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. ” —Vicki Baum

“When we give ourselves over completely to the spirit of the dance, it becomes a prayer.” —Gabrielle Roth

I will shape myself into your pocket
Invisible, do what you want, do what you want
I will shrink and I will disappear
I will slip into the groove and cut me up, and cut me up

There’s an empty space inside my heart
Where the weeds take root
And now I’ll set you free
I’ll set you free
There’s an empty space inside my heart
Where the weeds take root
Tonight I’ll set you free
I’ll set you free

Slowly we unfurl
As lotus flowers
‘Cause all I want is the moon upon a stick
Just to see what if
Just to see what is
I can’t kick your habit
Just to feed your fast ballooning head
Listen to your heart

We will shrink and be quiet as mice
While the cat is away; do what we want
Do what we want

There’s an empty space inside my heart
Where the weeds take root
So now I set you free
I set you free

‘Cause all I want is the moon upon a stick
Just to see what if
Just to see what is

Put the lotus flower into my room

Slowly we unfurl
As lotus flowers
‘Cause all I want is the moon upon a stick
I dance around a pit
The darkness is beneath
I can’t kick your habit
Just to feed your fast ballooning head
Listen to your heart

I can’t wait to see this. I love Noam Chomsky, and Gondry’s animated film/documentary of a conversation with him is the sort of thing that I can watch once, and will feed off of its inspiration for the next 5 years. There are too few films that do this for me, these days.

found via Booooooom!